I got cussed out last week.  I know! I still can’t believe it. Here’s what happened. It’s a bit of a story, so hang with me.

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Last Wednesday I was driving back to the church after going out for coffee with Dan Wallace.  It was Dan’s birthday and I had just dropped him off at his house after a large, iced caramel macchiato from Dunkin’ and a walk in a local park. I’ve been to Dan’s house several times and every time I go, I drive by the Dutch Cousin Campground on Hill Road in Denver, PA.

I have a thing for campgrounds.  Pam and I don’t own an RV and I don’t anticipate owning one anytime soon. But I love checking out campgrounds, especially in a woodsy setting. It brings back great childhood memories of family trips in a camper when we went out west, to New England, the mountains and beach.  So, when I’m alone and not on a timeline, I’ve been known to take a short detour to check out campgrounds.  And that’s how I found myself at the Dutch Cousin.

Since it was midweek, the camp was practically empty.  Aside from a few sites rented to seasonal campers, there was little sign of human activity.  And at one point, deep in the campground, a stone lane branched off to the right from the main camping area.  “Mountain View Circle”, it said.  “Oh nice.” I thought. “It looks like they’re developing a new section of the camp. I bet it reconnects with the main camp further down. I’ll check it out.”

I was about 40 yards down the road when I realized it was a private drive with two homes. Whoops.  I stopped and looked for a way to turn around.  Off to the left, about 30 yards away was a guy working on a Kubota lawn tractor in his driveway.  He stood up and watched me as I paused.

The stone road was wide and unfinished, almost like a cul-de-sac, really.  So, I swung a wide arc as I turned around to exit.  The man stared at me intently, which gave me pause.  I rolled down my passenger window.  “Sorry, just checking things out.” I called lightly.

“Get off my $%*(-ing lawn.” He shouted with an angry wave of his hand.

I paused, dumbfounded.  For one thing, I wasn’t on his lawn.  I was on the side of an unimproved stone drive.  And this wasn’t Beverly Hills, for crying out loud.  His lawn, such as it was, was hardly manicured.  And further, how was I supposed to know this was a private road? One would think, if you shared a driveway with a campground, you’d have a “private drive” sign somewhere.

“Get off my $%(*- ing lawn.” He shouted again.

A flame of rage leaped up within me. This guy’s an idiot. I could feel my blood pressure rising… quickly.  My heart raced and a hot retort formed in my mind.  But by the grace of God, rather than saying anything, I rolled up the window and with a slight shake of my head, slowly pulled away.

Thoughts tumbled through my head like a waterfall. “That was outrageous!” and  “What a complete jerk.”  and  “I feel bad for his poor wife. Imagine being married to him!” and “If I weren’t a pastor, I’d teach him a lesson.” But on the heels of that, the ridiculousness of the situation hit me and I was able to release it. I even chuckled to myself and a feeling almost like compassion replaced the anger.  I felt sorry for him. Imagine carrying around that much rage. Hurting people hurt people.  What kind of life experience causes that kind of volcanic anger to be constantly boiling under the surface? Whatever was eating him, it wasn’t that I had damaged his crab grass infested, dandelion filled lawn.  That was just an excuse to unload his anger.

I shook it off and continued back into the campground to finish my loop, but within two minutes, out of nowhere, a car raced up behind and then beside me. It was the guy! Oh no, now what do I do?

I stopped and rolled down my driver’s side window and he rolled down his passenger side window and leaned across the seat.

“’You were just checking things out.’” He fumed.  “Do you know what’s wrong with @$(%$- ing  people like you? You just don’t #($%- ing care.”

I was spooked.  Wasn’t there a road rage incident on the PA turnpike near Bowmansville just last week?  A guy got shot and later died at Reading hospital. I remember the police and emergency vehicles screaming up 625 past the church. In my mind I was formulating headlines for the Lancaster paper:  “Trespassing pastor shot in remote campground….”

You just don’t %(@#- ing care.” He repeated even more forcefully.

Fortunately, my own anger at the injustice of the situation had already dissipated and I was able to respond honestly and without snark.

“Sir, that’s not true.” I replied quietly. “That’s just not true. And I’m sincerely sorry I drove on your lawn.” I said, maintaining eye contact.

Long pause.

“Well, ok.” He said.  And with that he wheeled his car around and pulled away.

Whew. I was shook.  But I was grateful that my anger had dissipated before round 2 came or the outcome could have been quite different.

The Bible says,

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

I used to have an anger problem and at times I still do.  I think most people do. I’m still working on that “be angry but do not sin” dynamic (Ephesians 4:26-27). Anger isn’t wrong but it’s all too easy to take the frustrations, misfortunes, and disappointments of life out on those around us. As believers in Jesus, we can model a different way.  When we get angry the Holy Spirit can help us maintain control and when we are wronged, we don’t have to respond in kind.

Jesus our Savior is our example.

To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.

“He committed no sin,

    and no deceit was found in his mouth.”

When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.” 1 Peter 2:21-23

In the end, I think this was a test from the Lord.  And he revealed to me that even though I squeaked through, I still have a volatile flash point in me. I was surprised at how much my flesh leaped to assert my “rights.”  But the word of God is true and, in this case, “a gentle answer turned away wrath” and I am not a statistic in the newspaper… nor is the other guy.  May God give me the grace to apply this in every area of my life where there’s potential conflict.