Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will remember You… Psalm 42:5-6

The other morning I woke up “finky”. Perhaps you aren’t familiar with that word. I’ve been using it for years to describe an emotional state that I sometimes get in. However, before I began writing this I checked Wikipedia to make sure that “finky” doesn’t mean anything obscene (you can never be too careful these days); and I found out that fink is:

• 1. The name for an open source Unix computer code project
• 2. The name of a 1989 album by the Swamp Zombies
• 3. The name of an English singer whose real name is Fin Greenall
• 4. The nick name for the lead singer of the American punk band Green Day
• 5. And a common German last name.

None of these definitions quite fit the meaning that I intend, so for a more formal definition, I refer you to Webster’s Ninth Collegiate Dictionary:

Fink \fink\ n [origin unknown] (1903) 1: one who is disapproved of or is held in contempt

The fink that I’m talking about is a vague and undefined feeling of disapproval and dissatisfaction; feeling flat or blah, a bit anxious or knotted up. I wake up dreading the day or feel like a rain cloud is following me around. Sometimes I know why I feel that way- I have to have an uncomfortable conversation with someone or do an unpleasant task. Perhaps I’ve taken offense or recently been hurt. Maybe I’m over committed or feel pressure that I must “deliver the goods” in a certain situation.

More often, though, I have no idea why I feel finky, I just do. It’s like my emotions are completely detached from the circumstances that are causing them. Weird, I know. It must be a man thing. But when I wake up finky or fall into a fink, it destroys my joy, I become distracted and inefficient, I’m more likely to fall into sinful coping mechanisms and my relationship with God and others definitely suffer.

I think the Psalmist had the same thing going on in his life. He asks himself: “Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me?” It was like he really didn’t know. He was feeling bad but had no idea where the emotions were coming from. Sometimes we need to ask ourselves “Why am I feeling this way?” When we name our struggles before God and connect them to the emotions we feel we are then able to put things in proper perspective.

Of course the ultimate goal of this is to take these connected emotions and circumstances and roll them over onto God, which is exactly what the Bible invites us to do. After asking the question, “Why am I downcast; why am I disturbed?”, he goes directly to God. “Put your hope in God,” he says. And ” I will remember You!” As we realign ourselves with God, feel his unconditional love and tap his immeasurable strength, our circumstances no longer overwhelm us and our finkyness subsides. We are freed to praise Him and make good decisions in line, not with our feelings, but in line with His character.

Experts call this concept mindfulness. To be mindful is “to be fully aware of all that one experiences inside the self- body, mind, heart, spirit.” As Christians we function best when we connect the dots between our circumstances and emotions and bring them together to an all sufficient God.

So the next time you feel finky, take a minute to ask “Why am I feeling this way?” and take that answer to God.

(mindfulness definition is found in a book called Resonant Leadership, 112)