Week #4 of Social Distancing… Four down, only four more to go, hopefully. I gotta say, when President Trump extended the social distancing guideline through the end of April, I wasn’t surprised, given the state of the world. But it still hit me in the gut, hard.  Another month of this?

How are things going over at your house?

At the Benedicts, we are beginning to feel the wear. We’ve watched TV and rented movies. We’ve watched Netflix, Amazon Prime Video, & Disney Plus. We’ve watched YouTube videos and posted on Facebook and Instagram. We’ve played games… board games, card games, games with dice, word games, guessing game; Settlers of Catan, Dominos, Hand and Foot, Quiddler, Quarkle, Rummikub. The list goes on and on.  Sometimes we just sit in the living room with everyone engrossed in their device and it’s very, very quiet.  Weird.

I’m getting fat.  This has got to stop. We’ve been cooking up a storm- chocolate cake with peanut butter icing, sour cream pound cake, rice pudding, tapioca pudding, pistachio pudding; batches of cookies, batches of soup, batches of chili, lasagna, spaghetti; full breakfasts- eggs, bacon, scrapple, sausage, pancakes, French toast, and omelets. I think the nineteen in COVID-19 stands for nineteen pounds. Not good.

Today Pam said that it feels like (the Bill Murray movie) Ground Hog Day, day twenty.

Now, on another plane, I know I have nothing to complain about- nothing. I have friends in Jamaica, India, Bolivia and Brazil, who live on the knife’s edge of hunger… you know, the ones who actually pray “Give us this day, our daily bread” and mean it?  I pray for them.  The majority of this world has nothing to fall back on. I can’t imagine.

I’ve noticed something, though. The longer this self-quarantining goes on, and the longer we stay cooped up in the house, the less we are being gentle with one other. It happens in subtle ways.  We are still civil and working at getting along, but at times there’s a slight edge.  It’s betrayed by a deep sigh or the roll of the eyes, a sarcastic comment or the need to assign blame or justify oneself when something goes wrong.

Let me give you an example.  The other day Pam and I decided to take a walk. I put on my shoes, got my jacket… and sat and waited.  Now, it’s not like I had anything else to do or was on a tight timeline.  It was just a nice day and we both wanted to get some fresh air.  As I waited in the living room, I could hear Pam talking in the other room on the phone with her sister.  The conversation went on and on and on.  While she was talking, she threw in a load of wash or puttered around the kitchen, or some such thing.  Finally, she emerged and said, “I’m ready….”

“Oh, did you still want to go?” I said.

“Yes, I do.” She answered, “Sorry to keep you waiting. Robin gave me a call and she’s been trying to catch up with me all week.”

“Oh, I thought you might have had a change of plans.” I replied flatly.

What was that?

Was it me actually inquiring as to whether Pam had a change of heart?  As if, conditions had changed so much that she may not have wanted to take a walk anymore?  Hardly.  No, I wanted her to acknowledge that she had made me wait and that she often does.  I wanted her to apologize for putting other things ahead of ME.  She has 23 ½ hours in the day to talk with her sister, so why take the call now, when I wanted to take a walk?

Wow, that sounds so small and petty.  Especially when I think that the load of wash was probably my dirty laundry, or it was probably my dirty dishes she was putting into the dishwasher.  Why not just let it go?  Why not be gentle, extend kindness, grace, a bit of courtesy and understanding? Or, if the situation really did warranted it, bring it up in a kind and forthright way?

1 Peter 4:8 says:

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

Right now, in our homes, we are extremely aware of each other’s “sins.” The last month of social isolation has held up a magnifying glass to those quirks, blind spots, flaws and personality traits that we find annoying and are normally able to dismiss with little thought.  It’s time to take a step back and renew our gentleness towards each other.  It’s time to put away harsh speech and rough manners and to extend kindness and tenderness towards those we love.  Let’s treat each other the way God treats us.

So, if things are approaching DEFCON 1 at your house. Take the lead and stand down. Gentleness is not a sign of softness.  It’s a sign of strength.  Let’s love each other well in these days.  God’s Spirit wants to produce gentleness in your life and mine.

Let him.