I have friends I talk to almost every week.  We have a standing Facetime video appointment 5 PM on Tuesdays.  I’ve known Chris and Kathy for years. It’s an unusual relationship in that we don’t talk about the weather, sports, or the normal stuff of life.  Instead, I would call it a “spiritual friendship”, in that we talk almost exclusively about what God is doing in my life, the struggles and challenges I’m facing, and what it means to walk with God through it all.

I think everyone should have a friend or friends like that.  I know Isaac meets twice a month with his best friend so they can mutually encourage each other and hold one another accountable. And, my wife Pam has a small inner circle of friends with whom she can process the hard stuff of life.  It’s so freeing to be able to connect with someone and say… “I am NOT ok.” and know that they will comfort or confront you if you need it.

For the past year or so, we’ve been talking a lot about decision making (both big and small) and learning to hear God’s voice.  It’s a theme which seems to reoccur again and again in our conversations. And whenever I bring up an upcoming decision or the latest complexity in my life or here at church, Kathy invariably says, “Well, did you ask?”, meaning of course, did you ask God. It happens all the time and it’s beginning to get annoying… and embarrassing!

It’s simply shocking the number of times there’s this awkward pause as I search for words, and sheepishly say, “no.”

I’ve been trying to analyze this, because it’s not like I walk around completely oblivious to God or don’t pray throughout the day.  I pray in the morning, before I eat. I go to Wednesday night prayer group. I’m constantly working on sermons, making hospital visits, talking ministry with the staff. But it’s rare, when confronted with a difficulty that I stop right then and there, in real time and ask.  Maybe eventually… but not first.  Instead, I give it some thought, make a plan, worry about it, think about potential outcomes, talk it over with someone, work on contingencies….

Did you ask?

I’m not talking about silly things like “should I get gas at Wawa or Sheetz?” or “it’s a beautiful day, should I take a walk outside over lunch break?”. For many decisions God gives us both wisdom and choice.  I’m talking about the weekly flood of consequential decisions that come our way, both small and great, that cause us uncertainty or anxiety.

Jesus, did I get the tone right on this email or should I revise it? Or maybe I should actually talk to them face to face?

I feel really overcommitted right now, what should I be trimming from my life?

Lord, I’m about to look for an Airbnb for our summer vacation, would you show me the right house?

Wow, God, thanks for this unexpected financial blessing.  What do you want me to do with it?

About a year and half ago, here at the church, we revised our values.  It was the final piece in defining what our church is about.  Our mission says why we exist, our vision says where we want to go, and our values describe how we will get there.  And one of our church values is prayer dependent. We defined it as, “Every idea, effort, and decision is dependent upon God, as expressed in humble, reliant prayer.” That a great value for a church and sounds like a pretty good value for my own personal walk with God as well.

Look to the Lord and His strength; seek his face always 1 Chronicles 16:11

So, I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you Luke 11:9

Pray continually. 1 Thessalonians 5:17

So, when you get stumped, don’t know what to do or get overwhelmed by the complexity of life, check in with God FIRST.  Ask BEFORE you plan or worry or get spun up considering all your options.  And most certainly, pray before you ask a Christian friend.  Because if they’re on their game, they may just turn around and say, “Did you ask?”