… know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:3-4

“Are you asleep?” 

It’s the universal question that every married man hears after being awakened out of a sound sleep by the tossing, turning and deep sighs of a sleep deprived and slightly cranky wife. 
“I was…” I say, as I sluggishly take my mind out of ‘park’ and slowly shift it into first gear. The gears of my mind grind in protest. 

“I’m going to kill that dog.” Pam says flatly. 

The dog. Our house is surrounded by serious dog owners- not the little dust mop varieties with the shrill annoying yaps, but the “cousin to the wolf” variety whose bark rattles our thermopane windows. With disturbing regularity someone’s dog is in a back yard at 2 AM barking his fool head off. 

My wife’s up now, peeking out the window. In the neighbor’s yard across the way is a giant yellow lab standing on a frozen snow drift barking at the stars. With all of the snow on the ground the dog is silhouetted, almost backlit, as it stands broad side in the yard. 

“I’m going to kill him…” She mutters. 

At this point I’m doing mental check lists to ensure that my hunting rifle is securely locked in the downstairs gun safe and I don’t have any spare ammo lying around. 

She’s back in bed now and finishes her sentence. “… But first, I’m going to take down the Prince William County School Board.” Having the kids at home for 12 consecutive days because of 2 record snow falls has taken its toll. Since I head off to work each day and leave her, I wisely decide that all my wife really needs right now is a listening ear. 

For the next 45 minutes or so we have a rambling conversation about home, family, church, the joys and frustrations of our recent adoption, our kids, our finances, our own personal struggles. It’s precious stuff. Not that we both wouldn’t rather be asleep, but still precious and much needed. It’s the glue that holds marriages together. 

“I think you’re more patient than I am.” She says, as tiredness sets back in and the length of time between our sentences increases. 

For the last two days I’ve been thinking about patience. By objective measure, her statement may be true. I run at a slower pace and don’t express my frustration as easily, but there are PLENTY of times when I am discouraged, angry or just flat out annoyed. I’m often impatient but just not expressing it. Usually it is over things that I have no control over- some injustice or inconvenience that I’ve sustained. Sometimes it’s over my own personal failings- I haven’t met my own level of expectation. Both reactions reveal a not so subtle self-focus. I’m impatient because things aren’t going MY way. 

Scripture reveals a broader perspectives on life’s trials. They are not about me and my agenda at all, but about God and what He is doing IN me. They are an essential and necessary part of God’s ongoing process of breaking me free from my fleshly responses and developing a closer dependence on Him. That patience or endurance or resiliency that develops in my life in the midst of life’s frustrations is a mark of spiritual maturity. It is God’s work in me. 

Having this perspective, in and of itself helps us become more patient. God is up to something. I may not understand it. I may not even like it. But I can trust it. God will use even this: ____________ (you fill in the blank). My role is to lean into the Father and allow God’s Spirit to produce the appropriate response throughout the trial. 

Why God can use even late night insomnia and a barking dog to reconnect a husband and wife! Trust me, I know.